RateBeer Forums

Funny Bartender

I was at a beer bar last night and overheard the bartender in her 20s blessing patrons with all sorts of knowledge…
“I worked at Cafe Hollander for three years, so I know a lot of things that most people don’t know. I am a beer nerd.”
“I like REAL sours” “No, not like a Lambic, REAL sours” " A real sour needs to be dark" “Duchess De Bourgogne, that is my favorite beer, that is a real sour”
“Did you know that the only reason beers are different colors is because some are top fermented and some are bottom fermented?. Most people don’t know that, but I know a lot about beer, do you see my shirt? It says I drink Belgian. I worked at Hollander for three years so I really know a lot…”

It seemed like her coworkers played an elaborate 3 year joke on her. I can’t imagine how many people she has taught beer lessons to, as she was quite eager and intense about her sharing her expertise. I am hoping for explanations of what makes a beer a New England, Porter vs Stout, and other theories next time she is working.

Anyone else have a cool bartender like that?


At one of two pubs owned by a local-ish brewery.

Me looking at a new beer with zero details on the pump clip: What sort of beer is that?

Barman: Dunno. I don’t like beer


Q : What kind of beer do you have ?
A: 5% !

A fav, from a brewery outlet:
“We don’t have this stout on tap this year because the whole batch of it was bought by Guinness.”

Wait, what?

I was on a CAMRA survey trip one year.

Asked a young lady behind the bar of a pub in Shropshire if she had any Real Ale, she looked at me quizzically and said “They’re all real” (there were however no Real Ales in the pub).

I left.



I walked in to an what was announced as a british pub in Banjul. Did not exepct to find any impressive beers, but hoped maybe to at least get an English beer. So I asked the lady in the bar what do you have of English beer. She replied Heineken.

1 Like

Walked into a very small bar in the unrecognised republic of Transdniestra in an attempt to find some scarce post-Soviet separatist beer ticks.

Me: “So, what’s on tap?”
Woman behind the bar: “Beer”

1 Like

Medvedgrad, the oldest Croatian micro, has a few restaurants / bars around Zagreb. In some of the most popular ones they have frequent staff rotation. Some of their top workers get poached, crooks and shitty workers get fired. As they said, probably “every waiter in town” was working for them at some point.

So, I guess this guy came at some point (not even a kid) without much working beer knowledge, but trying to build up the brand in the eyes of customers I guess and maybe sound smart/informed, so he would invent random shit, both when asked and even volunteering “info” to ppl. Including ppl he could have deduced would know better. That was a highlight.

Stout in question (prefer it to Guinness Draught I guess…)

1 Like

On a pub crawl in Oxford many year ago (with some ladies in tow). Went in one bar and asked what wines they had. The female student (I assume she was a student) went through a little list and mentioned a “White Rioja” (a rare thing in the UK today and very unusual back in 2114).

I shouted across to the table that they had a White Rioja and the snooty little girl from behind the bar informs me that Rioja was a region and not a grape!

I just stared at her and said “Wow, really” (in my most sarcastic voice).


1 Like

I just remembered when I went to a local pub and it must have been a new guy who I then confused.

I asked for, “One and a half pints of Twiggy Shite please.”

He turned to the manager and asked, “Do we have one and a half pint glasses?”


Not exactly a bartender, but close, a tour guide at a brewery.
This was a fairly well known brewery in SE PA that made a lot of great german styles, and I went circa 2001 on Lew Bryson’s recommendation, and he advised me to look out for their unfiltered pils which was great. At the end of the tour, I asked the tour guide about it, and he said there was no such thing, that it would defeat the purpose of pilsner, being golden bright and clear. (unfortunately, the head brewer who normally gave these tours wasn’t in that day)

1 Like

Not a Bartender but…

Booked our local craft place for my birthday now that we can sit inside. That reminded of the last time we were there pre-Lockdown 3. Weybridge is in the ‘stockbroker belt’ around London and we had this posh waitress. She got really arsey when she made two errors and became really sarcastic. However what really pissed me off was the tip. I intended to type in £13 but realised too late that I’d typed £30. Anyway, I expect amazing service in a few weeks.

1 Like

I was on a brewery tour of Bitburger with a bus load of RAF chaps and we had a young lady fronting the walk around and her English was very good.

In the keg filling complex (we were on a raised walkway) someone asked about the pile of old kegs in one corner and she said “Oh they are not stainless steel and they give the beer a taste”. I replied with “We can’t have that can we, Bitburger with taste”. She either chose not to hear me or didn’t understand my humour.



A sarky devil you are! :smiling_imp:

1 Like

It was a hot summer day in the late afternoon. I had just taken a ten mile bike ride. I was thirsty. I went to a taphouse and ordered a local craft Pilsner. The young waiter at the tap house told me that he was a beer connoisseur and that I shouldn’t order the local craft Pilsner because Budweiser is a Pilsner and Budweiser is no good. He kept trying to convince me to switch my order. He told me that I should get something else from the same brewery and asked me if I knew the brewery. I told him that, “yes, I know the brewery. I have met owner of the brewery, he is a vendor of mine, his name is Steve, I run a boutique beer and wine store”. The waiter finally shut up and took my order. I did not want to let on that I was in the industry, I was with friends and this waiter was young enough to be my son, so I did not want to be a jerk, but this guy was insufferable.

1 Like

I recall a brewery visit in Germany with Tom Perera (RIP friend) on one of his Knickerbocker Bier Tours. We were all given a beer by the brewer from two large trays, one beer was left over. As the brewer began his talk he mentioned that in Germany beer is known as “The Bread of Life”. I walked over to the last remaining beer, picked it up and said “I’d better have another slice then”.


1 Like

Add To RateBeer

Add A Beer
Add A Brewer
Add A Place
Add An Event

Manage Your Account

Add Premium
Edit Profile
Sign out

RateBeer Newsletter

Subscribe to our newsletter, RateBeer Weekly, a must for understanding new people, places and beers in worldwide craft culture.

Stay Connected

2000- 2017 © RateBeer, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy | Terms of Service