Oktoberfestivus

Hey guys,

Bonsai737 here with another one of my homebrew reviews. Just poured my homebrew Oktoberfest into a 4 quart chalice sniffer on June 5th 2018 with my son in law. Got a 9 finger lacey brown head with moderate retention depending on the humidity. The aroma had notes of beer ester and fresh October leaves. Walnut and Mandarin lingered on the tongue for several days after the tasting. Whispy coconut was prominent in the mouth feel, did not overwhelm the flavor. A slight mango essence drifted into the flavor profile with each sip. Overall I really enjoyed and would recommend.

You gonna share the recipe?

For sure man. First you’re gonna want to get a couple cans of Bud Light. Bring the Buds to a boil in a 3 quart pot and add in 3 halved mandarins. Now turn down the heat and let the brew simmer for about 14 hours. For the next step you’re gonna need a meat smoker. Gather a few handfuls of leaves, preferably maple, and your freshest walnuts. Throw em right on the center rack of the smoker until they catch fire. Make sure to toast each side of the walnuts evenly. Next take your wort and place it into the smoker. This will give the brew a subtle smokiness and a raspy finish. Now, to even out those earthy aromas we need to add our mango and coconut. Pour a liter of coconut water into the brew. I prefer Vita Coco, but it doesn’t really matter which brand you choose. Finally, we’re gonna want to cut 4 mangoes into thin slices. Gently place them into the brew and let them soak for a minimum of 8 hours. Now take out the slices and put them in a plastic baggie. They’ll make for a delicious snack later! All that’s left is to add the yeast and let the mixture sit out in the sun for couple days. Pretty simple but delicious! PS: Don’t worry about adding sugar for carbonation. The natural sugars from the fruit do the trick.

Let me know how it goes or if you have any questions!

Sincerely,

Bonsai737

Are you being facetious?

What do you mean? Just try it out before you knock it man. Let me know how it goes!

That isn’t beer. I don’t even know what you’d call that. It sounds like a hot mess, closer to prison “wine” than any kind of actual beer.
If you want to brew beer at home, there are several excellent resources to learn how to do so. www.howtobrew.com is an excellent one. It costs probably about $150 to get everything you need for your first brew.

None of it involves mixing Bud Light with God only knows what and letting it “sit in the sun for a couple days”.

Hey man sorry for the rate reply

Thanks for the advice. I checked out those resources you recommended and switched from Bud Light to Coors. Huge difference in the quality of the brew. Do you have any recipes for prison wine? That sounds pretty interesting.

Take ten peeled oranges,
Jarvis Masters, it is the judgment and sentence of this court,
one 8 oz. bowl of fruit cocktail,
that the charged information was true,
squeeze the fruit into a small plastic bag,
and the jury having previously, on said date,
and put the juice along with the mash inside,
found that the penalty shall be death,
add 16 oz. of water and seal the bag tightly.
and this Court having, on August 20, 1991,
Place the bag into your sink,
denied your motion for a new trial,
and heat it with hot running water for 15 minutes.
it is the order of this Court that you suffer death,
wrap towels around the bag to keep it warm for fermentation.
said penalty to be inflicted within the walls of San Quentin,
Stash the bag in your cell undisturbed for 48 hours.
at which place you shall be put to death,
When the time has elapsed,
in the manner prescribed by law,
add 40 to 60 cubes of white sugar,
the date later to be fixed by the Court in warrant of execution.
six teaspoons of ketchup,
You are remanded to the custody of the warden of San Quentin,
then heat again for 30 minutes,
to be held by him pending final
secure the bag as done before,
determination of your appeal.
then stash the bag undisturbed again for 72 hours.
It is so ordered.
Reheat daily for 15 minutes.
In witness whereof,
After 72 hours,
I have hereon set my hand as Judge of this Superior Court,
with a spoon, skim off the mash,
and I have caused the seal of this Court to be affixed thereto.
pour the remaining portion into two 18 oz. cups.
May God have mercy on your soul.